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Chuck-ing the Content

By Steven Yuen Some people are of the philosophy that a reading’s not worth attending unless they’re sleeping with or want to sleep with the headlining author. I found this to be true when my now-ex girlfriend would essentially humor me by attending readings where I drunkenly fumbled my way through poems I would be […]

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The New Curriculum

Schools are becoming war zones where warped, deranged minds are armed to the teeth, seeking revenge on other students who may have wronged them or simply a case of naked aggression. No longer will a backpack, a new pair of shoes and school supplies cut it; students are in need of tactical and defense training, […]

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City-City, Bang-Bang!

  Gangs are taking out their disputes in the streets of Chicago, where residents have been tormented by a dramatic increase in homicides and shootings this year. Blood has pooled with the dirt and crime of the poorer, grittier West Side district where 24 homicides occurred during the first half of the year. The West […]

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Where Wild Hipsters Are

Chicago is on red alert, watching for the invasive, threatening species hipsanicus freshicus commonly referred to as Hipsters. Only months ago the international science community released a dismissive report that denied the official existence of these creatures. We independent researchers will not be so easily swayed, as it cannot be denied that Hipsters emerge like […]

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BART’s for Bums

In the morning, the platform — down inside the Civic Center station of the Bay Area Rapid Transit (BART) in San Francisco — is quiet save the buzzing of a loud overhead speaker spouting out a muffled announcement about a delay in the BART system. Though the odor of urine plagues the air, it isn’t […]